Day 102 – Quick, the wife’s back!

I’m very happy to say that my lovely Sarah pie returned home tonight! Cue lots of manic tidying and trying to hide the evidence that Cheryl Cole had stayed for the week! I have missed her so much and i’m looking forward to sleeping in my bed again, I have been sleeping on the sofa because i get a bit scared when i stay on my own. How wimpy does that sound!? You can never be too careful these days and it didn’t help that I had a bit of a nightmare on the first night. In my dream, I was sleeping and got woken up by a police man in my flat. He was investigating someone stealing a pile of books outside my window! He wanted to know if I had heard anything, obviously I hadn’t! I went to sit in one of my neighbour’s flat and it turned out that their son had found the books (which had miraculously turned into some golden nunchucks!) hidden in a well. As a gift they decided to give them to me but I had to somehow get them back to my flat without the police seeing me. Luckily I was singing TLC which obviously made me invisible  to the police but visible to some gangsters who could only catch me using a lasoo. Then this horrible noise started going off – Luckily, it was my alarm. I was sure to run out of TLC songs at some point.

I was also accused of having an affair with a lib dem councillor, his wife rang my house phone as i had apparently rang him twice this afternoon on his mobile. Just to add extra suspicion i called the number back, withheld the number and listened just incase it was a prank call, which it wasn’t!!

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