Tonights post may be slightly different to the norm. I’m usually moaning about travel and/or Domino’s not getting my name right but somehow these things don’t seem so important at the moment.
People always say that things happen for a reason but what do you do if you have no idea what the reason could be? I’m feeling so many emotions at the moment, some of which I haven’t felt for a long time. I remember back at school when people used to say things to me, little hurtful things, things that would go round and round in my head. I’d have much prefered being smacked about, least i could deal with that sort of pain. One thing I always remember was getting home from school and sitting in my grandads old chair that i had in my bedroom, I would spend all night crying. Wishing they would leave me alone, just for one day. I didn’t know how to deal with things like that – and I still don’t now. So, there was a blast from the past the other day and although i don’t want to go on about it on here, it was one of the worst parts of my life. Once again she couldn’t keep her gob shut and continued to mouth off at me and Sarah. Of course there were threats, just like last time. I felt like I was at school again, except I’m not 15 anymore. I’m nearly 30! So why did this happen? Why now? I fail to see any reasons apart from making me feel like i’m crumbling again at a time I need to be strong for others. Rather than fight, I wanted to curl up and hide. Fade in to the background like ‘just another passenger’. Does this make me a weak person? I wish I could ignore it, like everyone always says. I can only assume that people that say that have never been through things like that before, I apologise if this isn’t the case.
It wouldn’t be my blog if there wasn’t a random bit, so here it is. I took Mylo for his walk this morning and nearly walked into the biggest poo i’ve ever seen. I thought it was a horse poo at first!