I’m off work at the moment on holiday and it’s fair to say that i don’t really do much. I spend all day on the sofa watching the Olympics, don’t do my hair and dress like a tramp. I’m a scruffbag and proud, I’m not going to deny it. I dragged myself up off the sofa the other day to go and get myself a sausage barm from my favourite butchers. My trackie bottoms stunk, i had an old jumper on, hair messy and a spot the size of a tennis ball on my face. I asked for my sausage barm and a few chicken wings trying to hide my spot as i spoke. I was a bit embarrassed but only about the spot. Today I got dressed did my hair and the spot has reduced in size to a marble. I went to my favourite butchers feeling and looking good. I smiled sweetly, and so it started…
‘Hello Love, what can I get you?’
‘Can I have a sausage barm, 10 chicken wings and some chips please’ (This wasn’t all for me, I was going to share a few of the chips)
‘Do you want sauce on your barm love?’
‘No thanks’ I replied
‘Saucy enough already ay?’
‘I tell you what love, i’ll put extra wings in for you’ (There must have been about 15!)
‘Now lets do these chips properly ay’ He then poured all the chips that were left into a bag..
‘Want a carrier love?’ I was so NOT his ‘love’
‘Right that’s £2.50 then’
WOWZA! Only £2.50! Who cares if he was a dirty old man! Can’t complain at that!
So my word of advice for the day. Even if you can’t be bothered, do your hair, make sure your clothes smell nice and always say no to sauce!