Brown Monday

Today started off quite well, despite getting up 5 minutes AFTER i was actually supposed to leave! All the traffic lights en route seemed to be on green and it was my first sighting, of the year, of the bus make-up lady. And here she is applying mascara.

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The onion has flown the nest!! I appreciate that onions don’t fly.. they do if you throw them though. She has finally moved her fat ass out of the building, it’s like a storm cloud has been lifted, a storm cloud that had shit in it! Hurrah!

Since these highlights my day has gone gradually down hill. On the subject of shit, the library smelt of it today. Though some thought it was more vomit than shit but whatever it was, stunk! My patience has been tested, turns out i don’t have any left and I’m crap at my job, according to some. All in all, an excellent day.

The roof of my mouth really hurts. Like i’ve burnt it. Not with a lighter or anything, that would be stupid. Not as stupid as using a candle though. Imagine if I got wax in my mouth and then it solidified in my stomach. Would I have a poo candle?

I’d like to finish today’s post with an idea for Stagecoach. I saw this poster on your bus today but thought it needed something stronger to really get the point across. Let me know what you think.

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