The joys of being a librarian

When people ask me what i do for a living I very shyly say ‘librarian’. I’m not technically a librarian because i don’t have a degree but my actual title – Customer Services Supervisor could mean anything! I’m quite lucky really because i enjoy my job (mostly) and i work with a lot of lovely and interesting people. You would expect, working at the biggest University Library in the country that the students there would be keen to get there heads down, act maturely and behave like young adults but quite a few don’t!

Student one – A notepad had been handed in to lost property. I looked through it to see if i could find a name. Instead on each page was a drawing of a penis. At the beginning it was actually very well drawn (not to scale obviously – this was probably too big) but it got less and less detailed as the book went along. Surprisingly no one came to claim it!

Student two – A book in High Demand had been returned late, fines are charged every hour due to their ‘high demand’ and so the total can quickly mount up. The reason given for it being late was that the student had been shot at.

Student three – Clearly the word ‘Gay’ is hilarious.


Student four – Went to the student toilet, opened the cubicle door to find a beer can in the bottom of the bowl and a poo sat on top of it.

Student five – Asked where the library was whilst stood in the library

Student six – Phoned in a blind panic after realising he had returned a book with £150 used as a book mark.

Student seven – Had forgotten their library card to let them in so decided to crawl under the turnstyles like a dog in full view of everyone

Student eight – This was found on the inside of the front cover, little did he know it was the library that had recalled the book!


You really can’t make this stuff up! I’m sure there are loads more but Hollyoaks on E4+1 is coming on now.


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